Skin and Bones

I lock the door and turn all the water on. Bury that sound, so no one hears anything anymore.

Cut deeper and deeper into my skin as I cry, all you hear is the rivulet from this faucet.

Mirror lie to me, tell me you can see. Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now.

Change my clothes, change my hair. Just hoping you don't recognize me. Just hoping you realize I'm hurting.

I know you can feel, all the things you steal. And you're taking it, and you're taking it.

You take bits and bits of me and tear me apart without realizing it. Now I'm everything I'm not.

Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones, I'm always on my knees for you.

You know I need you. I would do anything for you. I will never admit it.
But you know it, I'm desperate for your help, so please just help.

Well sometimes it burns, maybe I'll wash it out. It all look so big. Never mind, I don't feel anything.

Cutting stops the pain and my skin starts crying blood.
But its okay, because I know I will feel better temporarily.

It only hurt a bit, and I still feel like shit. And I think you won't be able to recognize me now.

I feel disgusting and ashamed, but its the only way.

Its easier to quit, its harder to admit.

Its simple to quit cutting and kill myself, its more difficult to tell you.

And you're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me.

You keep making me cut again, I just can't stop.

 

-Kathy C.